Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and togetherness for families, but the sad reality is for a lot of families it is a time of conflict. Differing beliefs, egos, ideas, opinions, all of us jostling for position, to matter, to be heard, can all cause family conflict.
We can put status, and affluence above simple love and family ties. Instead of seeing each other as individuals, each with our own strengths, weaknesses, issues and fears, we expect everyone to live up to our own ideals and ideologies. We forget that we are all different just doing our best, trying to make our way in the world, and make sense of it all.
Our differences in our personalities, our belief systems, our desires, and wants for our own lives, is what brings variety and growth for each of us. Differences in each other can allow us to see things in a new light, which we may not have seen before. We are not all meant to be the same, but we come here for the common good of each other – if only we could see that.
We are all responsible for the way we behave. Only each individual can control their conduct, their thoughts and their behaviour. Love is the core of everything. We are only here to love each other, be respectful, show compassion, and be kind to one another. Everything else is just smoke and mirrors – the layers of self that need to be shed.
It is not that we don’t have a strong family foundation to begin with. It’s just the differences and belief systems are outweighing that very foundation. We must learn to respect each other’s beliefs and life choices, and not to impose our beliefs and life choices on anyone else. It is not acceptable to believe that we are right, and they are wrong.
When families fall apart, ask yourself, what is important, what really matters. Is it our ego self, or is it the basic concept of love and togetherness, and the sharing of each other’s lives, regardless of anything else that really has no substance or merit. The way back to harmony for any family is to love, accept, respect, and not to judge each other. Only then can a family truly heal.