Just For Today – the passage of time

‘Time is an ever flowing river of life’

It was my mothers anniversary last week, she has been gone for 8 years. I can’t believe it has been that long, it seems like only yesterday that I watched her leave this earthly plane. I was sat there thinking about her last week and wondering where does all the time go. It passes us by and we barely notice.

It is funny really my life has changed so much in the last 8 years. I have become more awakened to myself, which has meant that I have gained more insight and knowledge. Insight and knowledge not just about me but about my mother and how so alike we are and I never realised that.

At her funeral I was talking to my mothers sister, we talked about my mother, and we talked about me and why I was such a free spirit and nomadic – and the reason was that my great grandmother was a Romany Gypsy. I never knew that information, my mother had never mentioned that to me. But it did provide a piece of my ancestral history puzzle.

As the years have gone by since her death I have learned more about my mother, who she was and why she behaved a certain way. She was always frustrated in her life, she was always trying to work it out, she was always thinking. She would sit for hours in the kitchen looking out of the window thinking. I believe she was a healer like me and she just couldn’t work it out. She was a very spiritual person, she believed in our creator and she had no fear of death. She knew about life and this reality, but kept it to herself. Her life wasn’t easy and she was sad for most of it. My great sadness is that I wasn’t so awake as I am now when she was alive. I could have talked to her about things, and she would have known that I knew what she was going through because I have gone through the same things.

The passage of time is a great teacher if we pay attention. Time waits for no man as they say. But the passage of time allows us to reflect on the past and see the things more clearly that we didn’t see before. That is certainly true with regards to my mum. The understanding I have of her now helps me to see and understand myself just a little bit more.